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I've always been a girls girl, a Mummy's girl and looked up to other girls. This week I lost two of the most important girls in my life. My beloved dog of nearly 15 years Manya and my dear Nanny.
Both had a massive impact on my life growing up.
My dog was born at our house when I was 11 and has seen me through the toughest teenage and young adult times. Being able to cuddle and talk to a dog, who will just listen, is the most therapeutic thing. Obviously she was physically unable to say anything (I'm not a complete duh brain) but she never needed to. I know she knew me so well and was there to lend an ear to me, which I would often use to mop tears on my face caused by a school drama or a boy. I was with her when she came into the world and when she left, I know everything in between was pure love. That's what the relationship between a dog and an owner is, just the purest kind of unconditional love. She was a Mum, and Grandmother and never just a dog. She was another woman to me and I will always respect her as that.
My Nanny was, and is, one of the biggest role models I will ever have. We were SO close. I'd often write at the bottom of her birthday cards "p.s, you're my best friend"... this still went on even into adulthood. It was true, she was one of my best friends. I cant ever sum up what she meant to me in a paragraph, it's a relationship that words cant do justice. Her house was my happy place. The smells, her voice, the little trinkets and ornaments, the flowers in her garden and she familiar feel of all the fabrics and carpets. They're all things that will never leave me. Even though she was 92 and hadn't been well, I still feel in absolute shock. I cant imagine going through the rest of my life without the incredible bond we had, but I know everything she taught me and her values will live on in me. I will make sure.
My point really in writing this post, is that even though I already know I'm a girls girl and need the company of other girls, this week I have been completely overwhelmed by the love of the women in my life. I have had so many beautifully written, thoughtful cards and my house looks like a florist. The afternoon after we had to say goodbye to my beautiful Manya and before my Nan had passed, I was sitting at home in my duvet covered in tears, watching made in Chelsea and looking like Barry Manilow (no offence Barry) when there was a knock at my door. My best friend has turned up with all of my favourite things; strawberries & Galaxy, magazines, yellow flowers and a cactus. How bloody nice is that? My Godsons Mum sent a parcel through with a gorgeous wooden quote inside to. I love getting a parcel at the best of times, but receiving that one was extra special and meant more than anything that could have been inside. My oldest friend, who my Nan loved, came over on Saturday and we drank 2 bottles of wine, cried and laughed. My colleagues as well have been amazing. I work with about 14 other ladies in a shop and their kindness has been unreal. Every single hug, text, hand on my shoulder and knowing smile has made it easier for me to deal with the general public, who frankly couldn't care if I myself was dying. They just want their god damn refund. I just have been so, completely overwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of important men in my life to, but the love of my gals has warmed my cockles beyond belief. It really has made me realise that these are the relationships to be cherished and held so tight. I've lost two of my most important women this week, but with the love of the others around me I think I will have the strength to make it through this and any other nasty's the future may send my way.
In the words of Geri, Emma, Mel B, Mel C and Victoria...